Struggled Today

Didn’t accomplish much today.  Had the girls and didn’t get to the gym but I did eat clean except for an almond biscotti with my coffee at Starbucks.  Planning to do hot yoga tomorrow as well as chest and triceps.

Going through a breakup isn’t fun and I’m having a hard time keeping my brain from going over things again and again along with the wonder if there is anyone out there for me.   Read a poem by Pablo Neuruda that just spoke to me…

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it’s you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
… Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

So true as I flip flop between hating him and loving him.  The adage “sometimes love isn’t enough” is so very true…you can both be in love and have things working against you and no matter how hard you try, it just doesn’t work.

 

 

 

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About lulucitron

Fitness buff looking to take things to the next level through diet and exercise.
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